Relevant christian dating
All I can guarantee you is that their lists would look nothing alike.So rather than give you a concrete Christian dating boundaries list of do’s and don’ts like: no kissing, no laying on the couch together, no hanging out after midnight, etcetera – what I think would be more helpful is to create a list of “boundary categories” that each individual Christian guy and girl should define for themselves with the help of their trusted circle of influence and as they seek to honor Christ and obey his word.You should not share everything with your boyfriend or girlfriend because the highest levels of commitment are not yet there. You should share what you need to share to accomplish the goals of dating and no more.How much should you emotionally connect in a Christian dating relationship? In other words, you should connect enough to know whether or not you want to connect more in marriage.Proverbs says, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.” If this doesn’t capture the tension in a Christian dating relationship I don’t know what does.It brings immense joy when two people date and then have their “desire fulfilled” if they decide they want to spend the rest of their lives together.Therefore you should put boundaries around your expectations and hopes in your Christian dating relationship. I’m not saying you need to be hopeless or never have expectations. If you are closed off and don’t have hope, you are dooming the whole experience from the start. Sexual boundaries are what most people think of first because it’s probably the easiest temptation to fall into. Guard what you say if you want to guard your heart. Not everyone feels the same way about these three words as I do.But I believe these words should not be spoken in a dating relationship.
(Read: Christian Dating, Breakups, and 4 Tips to Help You Get Through It With God) Any breakup is going to hurt because all dating relationships have hope in them, and when hope is deferred the heart grows sick. I just wrote about this in great detail here, “How Far Is Too Far In Christian Dating? I get these two categories from 1 Corinthians 7:1-10. The trickier part will be to define what is an act rooted in sexual desire and what is an act that is simply a sign of affection. But one more that’s just too important not to mention is boundaries for your words and promises.The higher the hope was, the more the heart is going to hurt if that hope is deferred. ” The main point I make in that article is that all sexual experiences are reserved for marriage. So the Bible does not give us a list of sexual boundaries we are not to cross in Christian dating. When Christians abstain from sexual sin, I think the desire to connect through words is going to be even more intense.Dating for a week and then breaking up will hurt but not nearly as bad as breaking up during the engagement period because your hope was so much bigger and closer to becoming reality. List your goals for each season of the Christian dating relationship and try to balance your emotions with logic. So to guard you heart, you need to make sure your levels of hope are appropriate for the season your Christian dating relationship is actually in. Boundaries Around Your Sexuality in Christian Dating Are a Must If this one is not on your list of Christian dating boundaries, something is wrong with you. Rather, again, it gives us two big categories we are to stay within: 1. But just like the rest of these categories, you must balance your commitment levels with the levels you are connecting at.But you also don’t want to get too emotionally entangled with someone you might not marry, thus you still need to guard your heart since dating is not a commitment for a lifetime like marriage.
So again, the whole experience of dating as a Christian is unavoidably precarious because you are constantly in danger of erring on the “too conservative side” or the “too liberal side.” Don’t ask me what conservative boundaries or liberal boundaries in Christian dating would look like. If you asked one Christian guy to make two lists, one describing conservative values in dating and another list describing liberal boundaries in dating, and then you asked another guy to do the same thing, I have no idea what they would each include.
If you want to keep your emotions and heart in healthy places during your Christian dating relationship, make sure you have healthy boundaries around conversations regarding the future. Boundaries Around Your Expectations In Christian Dating Will Help Your Heart Stay Healthy You can list a lot of fun things in Christian dating. And one of the fun parts about dating is the hope it often brings. While our hope should ultimately be in Jesus Christ, there should be healthy levels of hope for a dating relationship to progress into marriage.