Open marriage dating
I had to be the So when Sam—a man I befriended more than a year ago—told me flat-out that he was in an open marriage and would like to have an “affair” with me, I laughed and turned him down.
I was certainly attracted to Sam, but I knew I couldn’t handle sharing someone’s husband.
Could I consider someone else’s feelings without immediately making them about me? A few weeks later, I went back to Sam and told him I was willing to give it a go—with one condition: “I want your wife’s permission and I want to hear it from her,” I said. We sat and talked about politics for a while, but when she and I were alone together, I had to ask her, “How are you OK with this?
” “Honey,” she answered, smiling and taking another sip of wine, “when you’ve been married for 30 years, you’ll understand.” For her, commitment from Sam wasn’t about not sleeping with other people—not anymore.
It was about him being a good father to their children, coming home when he said he would, and not forgetting to pick up milk on the way—all of which he was apparently very good at.
When I got up to leave, Sam told her he was going to walk me home.
He’s kind, generous, dependable, and considerate—and he actually encourages me to see other men because we both know that marriage isn’t in the cards for us and he doesn’t want to “waste my time.” I’m always surprised by how fine I feel about him having to cancel plans because something came up with his daughter, or by the fact that he can’t stay over because he needs to go home to tuck her into bed.
As my interest in him grew, so did my intrigue in the arrangement he had proposed.
I had never considered the idea that being polyamorous could be self One night shortly after that, my dog’s stomach was upset and he woke me up four times in the middle of the night begging to go outside.
Afterwards, I was surprised to realize I hadn’t been at all angry with him for making me go outside in the middle of the polar vortex—all I cared about was that he was OK.
If you and I were married for three decades, I’m sure we’d annoy one another too.
She’s actually letting you sleep with someone else and you should be grateful for that.” I couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of my mouth, but I had made a decision as to how I was going to handle this arrangement and I felt proud for sticking to it.
If I didn’t take a boyfriend’s flirting to mean anything about me or our relationship, there would have been nothing to be jealous about.